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The longest death

Yesterday my husband went to visit my stepdad at the nursing home. My dad knew his name but did not remember him. It crushed my husband. He sat on the couch last night wrapped up my arms and wept. It's hard to comfort someone when you feel just as broken as they do.

I just needed to tell someone. I can't say it out loud because if I start crying I might not be able to stop. I miss my stepdad. He's a good man and watching him suffer hurts so much. I'm just waiting for the day he forgets me. Sometimes there are worse things than dying. Right now he dies a memory at a time.

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( 48 comments — Leave a comment )
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kahuri_chan
Mar. 16th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Thinking of you and yours
*Hugs* Oh sweetie that must be awful. I know how you feel my great aunt has the same condition and my great grandmother before her.

I was never very close to them but I know about them from the stories that my family has told so I can imagine the pain you and your husband must be in. I'll be thinking of you both and you'll be in my prayers stay strong.

Blessed be
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
Re: Thinking of you and yours
Thank you so much!
(Deleted comment)
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:25 am (UTC)
Thank you! I appreciate you thinking of me. *hugs*
cillab42
Mar. 16th, 2012 06:28 pm (UTC)
Oh sweetie I understand completely. I am taking care of my mother and it is sad/hard to see this once strong and proud woman revert to a childlike state. I sometimes find myself crying at the oddest times. I am blessed that I am still part of her memory. You and your husband continue to take comfort in each other and I hope you feel the love comming your way.
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:25 am (UTC)
I will keep you in my thoughts. *hugs*
runner621
Mar. 16th, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
My father had Alzheimer's. The worst was when we tryed to remind him of things passed or loved ones who were no longer with us. I was 13 when he passed away an not a day goes by that I don't think of him. He never got to forget me but I still remember the fear I had when I was waiting for him to. The last moments with him were the hardest, even if this was years ago just typing this is difficult, but please know that even if he forgets you haven't. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. I am truly sorry for your pain.
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
It's a terrible disease. Thank you for your kind words.
bourne_parker
Mar. 16th, 2012 07:57 pm (UTC)
Aww honey! I can't even imagine how much this hurts, know that we'll all be here for you no matter what!
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
Thank you! *hugs*
peepingdru
Mar. 16th, 2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
I know exactly how u feel....it is the cruel way of losing ones loved ones...a bit at a time...((((huggles))))...at least missy frustrates the hell outta me too so it lessens the pain of all the forgotten memories...sometimes...xoxooxoxoxooxxo
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you!
devon99
Mar. 16th, 2012 08:30 pm (UTC)
Oh I am sorry. My nana is exactly the same. Some days are better than others. Somedays she gets us so mixed up she doesnt know who is who. It's heartbreaking, becuase the man or woman that you love isn't there any more.

*send you love*

gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
The good days are sometimes worse than the bad ones....at least when it's bad they don't know what they have lost. *loves on you*
kateyes085
Mar. 16th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight*
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
*clings to you*
lillyg
Mar. 16th, 2012 09:40 pm (UTC)
I wish i had the words to make you feel better... *hugs you extra-tight*
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
*hugs back* Love you!
(Deleted comment)
nicole_sill
Mar. 16th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
omg creidhe! I should have asked you about this! Loves and hugs to you!
(no subject) - gedry - Mar. 20th, 2012 12:28 am (UTC) - Expand
counteragent
Mar. 16th, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry hon. {{{{{}}}}}
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:28 am (UTC)
Thank you!
nicole_sill
Mar. 16th, 2012 10:46 pm (UTC)
You're killing me M! I wish more than anything I could be there with you right now since I'm currently going through this too. I know he's been suffering a long time and I know how hard it was for me to hear about my grandmother unraveling in the last weeks. It must be much harder to watch it in person!
I give you all my love and sympathy. I give you my heart and my understanding. Say the word and I will give you my phone number just so you can let some of your burden go to someone who is only involved in your pain and loss without you having to worry about how that person feels about it. You already have my email, and you can have my time. Let me know if i can help you!
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:29 am (UTC)
Bless you you dear sweet friend of mine. I love you and I know you're hurting too. I think of you often same here for me. I'm here for you too.
wiccanmama
Mar. 16th, 2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
Mental death and physical death
My grandmother dies a few years back. I remember the wake and seeing all the people who knew her and thinking that it hadn't really been her that died, she didn't remember any of us by that point and she hadn't since far before her youngest daughter passed away.

I didn't cry that day or for a long time after that, it didn't seem real because I kept telling myself that she'd been gone for a long time already.

Mental deaths like that, where your loved one can't even remember who they are, let alone who their children or grandchildren are, they are by far the hardest to bear.

Here's hoping I can give you a bit of strength to get through this hard time.

Brea45
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:30 am (UTC)
Re: Mental death and physical death
Thank you! I feel the same way, it's like he's already gone. *hugs* Thank you!
kijikun
Mar. 16th, 2012 11:25 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.
gedry
Mar. 20th, 2012 12:30 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you so much!
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( 48 comments — Leave a comment )

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